Directions
- Choose one of the Interpersonal Communication Theories discussed in our textbook/ the lectures this week.
- Find a clip from a show or movie on YouTube where you see this theory being highlighted/ playing out (for example- if there is a clip from your favorite TV show of a couple having an argument about one wanting to be more independent and the other wanting to spend more time, perhaps you will be able to see Relational Dialects Theory coming to life in this clip (specifically autonomy vs. connection).
- Post the link to the video on your assignment submission and write a paragraph detailing how you see the theory coming through in the media clip.
lectures notes:
Hi everyone. Welcome to unit ten which is all about theories of relationships. So this unit is cool because it kind of talks about the different well known interpersonal theories that have been applied to research. But I like talking about these theories because it’s kind of a way to frame some of the things that you might see or experience in your own interpersonal relationships. So after you engage with the content of unit ten, you should be able to define what a theory is. Differentiate between theories that explain interpersonal interaction. You should be able to apply interpersonal communication theory propositions to real life scenarios. Explain how communication affects relationship development. Describe how uncertainty in relationships impacts our communication. Articulate how communication changes during relationship stages. Describe the importance of affectionate communication and relationships. Interactions. Explain how interaction expectations affect interpersonal communication. Discuss how individuals manage private information in their daily interactions. Discuss how our communication reflects tensions experienced in interpersonal relationships. Identify helpful elements of supportive communication and describe the the stages of relationship dissolution or basically when relationships end. All right. So section one is going to focus on theories that focus on relationship development for the most part. So when it comes to relationship development, we can think of this as what we conversate about and how we conversate and how that changes over time as a relationship progresses. Essentially, these theories focus on changes of intimacy in a relationship as well as changes in communication. So the first relationship development theory, we’re. Oh, sorry. Actually. Just kidding. Um, we are going to first start with a discussion question. So I want you to think to yourself or jot down how have some of your closest relationships changed over time. So go ahead and think about that and then keep that in mind as we go throughout this series to kind of apply your own relationships to these theoretical standpoints. So the first relationship theory is Knapp’s relational stage model. And we’re going to go over the coming together stages first. So Naps model look specifically at how communication changes in relationships and the coming together stages of Naps model include first initiating. So we can think of initiating as the first contact with someone and an assessment of their mood. Um, their interest in interacting with us, our attraction to them, whether that be like physical attraction, social attraction as then wanting to engage with them as well as their personality characteristics. If we move from the initiating stage now, remember not all relationships develop, right? So like this is kind of a breakdown. And we’re focusing on relationships that do progress and do develop. So experimenting is when we exchange more surface level information such as like our name where we come from. Um, you know, where we went to school. Surface level, um, socially appropriate conversation items. Right. So like I see this a lot in the classroom. Um, I always kind of think of like when I teach at Sdsu because it also it’s like all com majors, right? Because I teach upper division there. So it kind of goes like, okay, introduce yourself. You know, where you from. Because a lot of people aren’t from San Diego who go to SDC. Well, not a lot, but like a good amount. Um, and then what’s your major? Well, you they know their major, but like. Oh, are you com major? A minor is a common one. What other classes are you taking. Who are you taking them with? Right. Like that’s very surface level information. But in that particular context, um, it’s like a helpful guiding point in terms of experimenting. Right. And the reason I say SDC specifically is because just at the CCS, I teach, um, like gen ed classes. So I don’t get like a lot of classes filled with com majors, but like, still like your major, what other classes are taking? Those would be common things that would come up at the CC level too intensifying. So if we move from experience maintain, we go to intensifying, which is where we see increases in intimacy through greater depths of communication. So breadth is like the variety of topics that we talk about. And then depth is like how deep and how personal we get with our topics. So in the intensifying stage, communication tends to be more intimate and more personal. Um, so that’s where we might go past like surface level information, maybe talk like about our childhood, our upbringings, our religion if we have one, things like that. Integrating is the merging of identities shown by increased shared interest, opinions, social circles, possessions, and routines. So maybe now with our friend. For example, we meet for coffee every Tuesday and we talk or we do homework together. Um, we watch the same shows. We share memes with each other like a shared sense of humor. Those are some things that we might see in the integrating stage. And then we have bonding. So bonding as public rituals or markers, acknowledging the relationship. So this could be look like, you know, in a romantic relationship for example, moving in together, um, putting each other in like Instagram bios or having like, um, an album on Instagram of that person or a highlight. Sorry, not an album. Um, yeah, those could be examples of bonding and kind of interesting to to think about. Like, since I’m mentioning Instagram, how social media might play a role in the coming together stages. Now, the flip side of that nap also realized that not all relationships last, right? And so, in addition to the coming together stages, Knapp also took a look at the common stages of our relationship ending. So if a relationship ends, we might see differentiating. So this is a progressive separation of interest activities or hobbies and identities. It might be like I versus you versus you know we basically circumscribing shifts towards less depth and breadth of conversation or shared information. And you may see more avoidance in this stage and less intimacy as well. Stagnating is the perception that people in this relationship have little to say to each other, and they might avoid communication because they perceive that it will be unpleasant in the stagnating stage. So they so communicate, you know? But like if it were a married couple, for example, it might be more like logistic focused versus like sharing about your day or your opinions or the show that you’re watching. Avoiding is more significant decreases in communication and more physical distancing. So we might see people going out with like their friends and not including their partner, or people staying late at work, for example, and then terminating as the official end of the relationship. So the reason I know is I said that this section is going to talk about relationship development. But the thing with Knapp’s model is that, first of all, just because a relationship enters the coming apart stages doesn’t necessarily mean that the relationship will end. For example, people can go all the way down to avoiding um and get back to bonding in the coming, um, together stages, you know, with like therapy and communication competence and things like that. Um, people can stand stagnating for a really long time, for example, and people might skip over some of the stages too. So that’s why I include it, because sometimes people can end, like enter the stage, but then they can go back to the coming together stages. So Knapp’s model really kind of goes all together basically.
Next we’re going to talk about social penetration theory, which is based off of the idea that self-disclosure is the primary mode through which our relationships develop. So self-disclosure is the intentional revelation of information about the self to another person. And it’s typically done through verbal communication. But it can be nonverbal as well. So basically what we decide to disclose to other people is self-disclosure. And the theory is arguing that without self-disclosure, we cannot form relationships. The idea of social penetration theory is that the more people share about themselves, the more close and comfortable that they get. Um, but you know, one thing, and I’m sure you’ve experienced this one thing to keep in mind when it comes to social penetration theory is just because you find out more information about somebody does not automatically mean you will like them. In fact, it could do the opposite. Um, so social penetration theory is more focusing on like when you find information out about a person and more and more that makes you like more interested in pursuing a relationship with them. That’s what it is focusing on.
And then we have uncertainty reduction theory. So uncertainty reduction theory is based off the idea that we are motivated to reduce uncertainty about others, and we act in ways to do so. Now there are different types of uncertainty according to your team. First is cognitive uncertainty. And this reflects the ambiguity about conversational partners beliefs and attitudes. So basically we are looking at like we’re uncertain about whether the person will like us. Um, behavioral uncertainty entails questions about the appropriateness and desirability of the conversational partners behaviors. So here we might be looking at why the person approached us. So in terms of some kind of hallmarks of uncertainty reduction theory, we can take a look at this chart over here. So first, as uncertainty decreases the amount of verbal communication between strangers increases. So here we’re seeing that self-disclosure again right. That is the primary means of how we reduce uncertainty. There’s kind of a social norm when it comes to self-disclosure that we expect people to do it back. Right. Like if I went up to you and I was like, hi, my name’s Tori. It kind of be socially awkward if you were like, okay, right. Like you. It’s kind of expected that it’ll be reciprocal and you’ll be like, oh yes, my name is blah blah blah. And then I’m like, how are you? How old are you? Where do you come from? Whatever questions I would ask, depending on the context. And we’re decreasing uncertainty about each other through self-disclosure. And our communication is increasing at the same time. As uncertainty decreases, we feel comfortable enough to increase our nonverbal expressiveness. And as uncertainty increases, information seeking behaviors increase as well. So if we are trying to uncover uncertainty about somebody, like if you’re dating someone and you haven’t really talked about like their intentions or, um, maybe like their dating history, maybe they’re very vague about that, you might be motivated. I’m not saying you should, but you might be motivated to go about information seeking, um, maybe by like, looking at their social media or something. As uncertainty increases, intimacy will decrease. So the idea is that the more certain we are about somebody, the more comfortable we comfortable we are being intimate with them. And as uncertainty increases, similarity in communication styles between conversational partners increases as well. So basically the idea is like the more we feel uncertain about somebody, the more likely we are to mirror their communication style, um, to make them feel more comfortable disclosing to us. Similarities between people can reduce uncertainty. We tend to value similarities and feel gravitated towards people we have similarities with. And as uncertainty increases, liking decreases, right? So like if you’re dating someone and you’re not, they’re not, you know, making it easy for you to decrease uncertainty, it’s very likely that you are not going to want to stay or pursue that relationship, and you’re going to end up losing interest in them as an example. All right everyone. So that is it for section one. In section one we focus on theories that talk about relationship development. We talked about Knapp’s relational stages model. We talked about social penetration theory and we talked about uncertainty reduction theory. I will see you next time in section two to talk about our next round of theories. See you then.