I just need
Instructions: Please revise your Writing Project 1 Timed Writing using the following PIE worksheet.
- Revisit your Topic Sentence: Revise it to follow these guidelines.
P Point Communicate your purpose to the reader by writing a topic sentence that addresses the issue with an opinion based on facts.
A point is an opinion based on facts, not merely a fact.
A point is a topic sentence for a body paragraph.
A topic sentence has two functions:
a.It states the point of the individual paragraph.
b.It states how the point develops the thesis statement (for an essay).
Example When faced with hardship, people can use the strength of others to make it through a difficult period of time.
This is an opinion that is based on the fact that many people find help and comfort in others when dealing with difficulty. This topic sentence has an opinion, yet it is based on a fact.
Write your new revised topic sentence here:
The greatest lesson I have ever learned in my education is that real intellectual development begins the second you realize you are lost and you dare to seek assistance.
- Revisit your Information: Revise all pieces information to follow these guidelines. Add Malcom X quote to your story as support and evidence.
- Revisit your Explanation: Revise all pieces information to follow these guidelines.
- Revisit your paragraph as a whole: Revise to follow PIE guidelines.
I Information Provide outside information to support your topic sentence.
Information is used to support the point (topic sentence).
Information is used to make the topic sentence creditable and verifiable.
Information is data, facts, surveys, observations, individual experience, and published material.
Example Joyce Butler from Listening Is an Act of Love used the driving force of her children to help her endure long and hard work hours (67).
This information about Joyce Butler supports the point because she used her children as a motivation to help her deal with a difficult time in her life.
Quotes: Revise all outside evidence to follow this format.
(1) Introduction statement, (2) quote, (3) MLA citation, (4) lines of analysis.
Example: Joyce Butler from Listening Is an Act of Love speaks of how her mother used the support of her family to motivate her; she describes, My mother wanted to keep us together as a family. She was determined (Isay 67). Butler used the driving force of her children remaining under one roof as family to help her endure long and hard work hours.
List all of your revised pieces of information here along with the Malcom X quote:
I remember it was a rainy Tuesday afternoon, and I was sitting in the high school chemistry lab, where there was a faint smell of sulfur and floor wax. I was staring at a titration experiment that did not make sense at all: the clear liquid in my flask did not change color, but the vials of my classmates became pale pink. I felt hot, and my throat tightened when I looked at the chaotic numbers in my messy notebook and knew that I was a fraud who did not belong in the course. I did not pack up in silent panic as I was used to. Instead, I took deep breaths, inhaling the acute metallic smell of the room, and lifted my trembling hand. I had no excuse, and when my teacher approached, I simply mumbled that I was lost. He never criticized me in any way; he merely drew a stool, and we tracked the path of the chemical reaction till the rationale finally clicked.Malcolm X recounts an identical turnaround in his own educational journey when he came to realize the power of learning; he says, I knew right there in prison that reading had changed the course of my life forever (Malcolm X 4). Malcolm X realized that admitting that he did not know anything and devoting his future and intellectual identity to learning changed his future.
E Explanation Explain to your reader why the information is relevant to your topic sentence.
The explanation comes right after a piece of information or direct quote
The explanation illustrates to the reader why the information is relevant to the topic sentence.
The explanation analyzes why the information supports the point.
Example Joyces undying love for her children became her motivation to make it through a challenging time in her life. Looking to others for support and motivation can help people deal with trying times in their lives.
This explanation paraphrases the information and reiterates the point. In addition, it further explains how the information validates the point.
List your revised information here (including the Malcom X quote) along with the revised analysis provided for each:
My choice to admit that I was confused and get assistance reflected that Malcolm X used to see that advancement begins when one accepts that there are things he does not know. In my desire to seek help by raising my hand and asking questions, I was able to overcome fear and embark on real learning. The experience of Malcolm X demonstrates that education can forever alter the course of a person when he decides to take knowledge with integrity and perseverance. The two experiences show that intellectual development is not that of seeming knowledgeable but of openness to learn. Seeking assistance and opening opportunities to learn build confidence, learning, and the development of long-term academic abilities.
Example of PIE Formed Paragraph
When faced with hardship, people can use the strength of others to make it through a difficult period of time. Joyce Butler from Listening Is an Act of Love used the driving force of her children to help her endure long and hard work hours (67). Joyces undying love for her children became her motivation to make it through a challenging time in her life. The motivation of her children helped Joyce stay driven and committed to her labor intensive job. Looking to others for support and motivation can help people deal with hard times in their lives.
Connect all the parts of the revised portions of your PIE paragraph together (topic sentence, information, and explanation) and place your complete revised paragraph here (the paragraph as a whole):
The greatest lesson I have ever learned in my education is that real intellectual development begins the second you realize you are lost and you dare to seek assistance. I remember it was a rainy Tuesday afternoon, and I was sitting in the high school chemistry lab, where there was a faint smell of sulfur and floor wax. I was staring at a titration experiment that did not make sense at all: the clear liquid in my flask did not change color, but the vials of my classmates became pale pink. I felt hot, and my throat tightened when I looked at the chaotic numbers in my messy notebook and knew that I was a fraud who did not belong in the course. I did not pack up in silent panic as I was used to. Instead, I took deep breaths, inhaling the acute metallic smell of the room, and lifted my trembling hand. I had no excuse, and when my teacher approached, I simply mumbled that I was lost. He never criticized me in any way; he merely drew a stool, and we tracked the path of the chemical reaction till the rationale finally clicked. Malcolm X recounts an identical turnaround in his own educational journey when he came to realize the power of learning; he says, I knew right there in prison that reading had changed the course of my life forever (Malcolm X 4). By acknowledging that he knew little to nothing, Malcolm X recognized that devotion to learning would change his future and intellectual identity. My choice to admit that I was confused and get assistance reflected that Malcolm X used to see that advancement begins when one accepts that there are things he does not know. I was able to overcome the fear by raising my hand and requesting to be guided, which enabled me to start real learning. The experience helped me realize that learning is not about acting like you already know but having the fearless ability to learn openly and constantly.
A final draft from this: