I have done 2 essays i now need to submit the revisions based on her feedback and the guidelines. I will send you both essays 1 and 2. and please follow the guidlines.
GUILDELINES
Points: 150
Focus
This semester youve worked on developing a personal writing process by practicing and
hopefully mastering the composition (aka construction) skills weve discussed in class.
Although revision has been key to each assignment cycle in that youve revised from
rough draft to final draft, this assignment will give you the opportunity to more fully
invest in revision by starting from what was once a final draft. The Description of
Changes document Ill show you next will help you keep track of how much revision
you do while encouraging you to justify the writing choices you make, which will ensure
you have good reasons for making them.
Task:
I. Revise Paper 1 and Paper 2:
Re-vision, by definition, requires that a writer see again, which requires enough critical
distance to return to a text with new eyes. With that in mind, return to Paper 1 (Critical
Thinking Business Article) and Paper 2 (Business Practices memo), the essays you wrote
earliest in the course.
If you earned a high grade on the original, please be aware that you will still need to
spend ample time polishing itas all features of the text, including the language and
style, will be held to the highest standard.
All major changes should be parenthetically noted in red.
Submission Recommendation for Portfolio:
Cover Page with your Name
Paper 1 (Edited)
Paper 2 (Edited)
Here is a list of questions to help assist with your revision:
1) Does the writing have a clear sense of purpose?
2) Have I studied my subject with sufficient care so that I understand what
qualities in it caused my initial response, and have I studied it with sufficient
care so that I have deepened or otherwise changed that response?
3) Is the title of my essay at least moderately informative
Ensure to include a meaningful sub-heading for Paper 1
4) Is the opening paragraph interesting and, by its end, have I focused on the
topic?
Have I rewritten the introduction in order to remove sentences that are
not essential to the set-up of my argument?
Is my papers main idea, or thesis, clearly stated early on (within the
first paragraph, ideally)?
5) Is the organization reasonable? Does each point lead to the next without
irrelevancies? Important question for both papers
Could I organize my ideas more logically (within a paragraph or
among paragraphs)?
Is there unnecessary repetition of certain points (an indication that the
papers organization should be tinkered with, overhauled, etc.)?
6) Are generalizations or assertions supported by illustrative examples, concrete
evidence, research, etc.?
Is there sufficient (but not excessive) use of texts, evidence, or data?
7) Are the sentences concise, clear, and emphatic? Are needless words and
inflated language eliminated?
Should some sentences be combined (for the sake of clarity, to avoid
choppiness, etc.)? Should others be broken into two or more sentences,
so that distincteven if also relatedideas receive proper emphasis?
8) Is the concluding paragraph conclusive without being repetitive?
9) Does my paper employ effective transitional words, phrases, and sentences?
10) Are the sentences well-worded and well-constructed?
11) Is the language precise and appropriate to the writing context?
Is the style authentic and engaging?
12) Have I addressed all of the questions (or parts of questions) in the assignment?
SECOND PART IS TO Type an essay titled Description of Changes
Along with the portfolio, please include a document that describes the major changes you
made, noting who inspired the change (professor-, peer-, or self-motivated), what you
changed, why you changed it, and where the change occurs in the new text. Part of being
a good writer is filtering through feedback, so I do not recommend that you apply every
suggestion you received from me and your peersonly those that are consistent with
your vision. Note: rather than itemizing a number of minor sentence-level changes
involving grammar or style, please just summarize them briefly as a single item at the end
of the document. Here are some sub-headings you can use to organize this essay:
1. Major Changes
2. Minor Changes
3. Grammatical Changes
4. Writing Style Edits
5. Formatting Edits
As a conclusion to the document of changes, include a few sentence on how you have
partnered with AI during the writing process for this course.
UPLOADING BOTH ESSAYS BELOW
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