English Question

I have included the original instructions for the paper + my draft. I need help adding an intro + conclusion plus making edits. I have added all edits below (please review instructions so paper follows what is needed, (e.g. cannot exceed 13 pages)

  • Remove question format (no Question 1, 2 – make it read like an essay)
  • Add strong transitions between sections
  • Add an introduction paragraph
  • Add a conclusion paragraph
  • Clean up writing
    • reduce repetition (According to Cialdini)
    • shorten long sentences
    • simplify wording
  • Add 2 deeper insights (analysis/critique)
    • especially in authority (Q910) and scarcity (Q11)
  • Break up long paragraphs
    • especially Q6 (hazing), Q8 (cooperation), Q11 (scarcity)
  • Add 23 reflection sentences
    • Looking back / This shows / This made me realize
  • Improve opening sentences of sections
    • make them sound smooth and natural
  • WRITE MY PAPER

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